Stopping Overthinking and Intrusive Thoughts

“Let Me Tell You What I Think…”

This is how the mind talks to you. It pulls you closer, expecting you to hang onto it’s every word and begins, “Let me tell you what I think…”

And you eagerly listen. You give it your full attention. You give permission for the mind to talk and talk and talk until your entire day is filled with overthinking, intrusive thoughts, mental churning and even more thinking. It becomes your identity, you the listener and the thinker merge.

And If you are on a deep spiritual path it’s even more aggravating! Overthinking and intrusive thoughts don’t help you cultivate inner peace.  I can recall many times when I would sit down to listen to a guided meditation only to enter into a battle via a surprise attack by a swarming army of mind chatter lying in wait the moment I closed my eyes. It’s hard to balance your chakras with someone whispering nonsense into your mind non-stop!

Where Does It Come From?

The mind is a machine that stores data. It collects bits of information like a firm brush capturing loose hairs from your favorite cat as you groom it. These grow into big clumps of thoughts until a mountain of them arises. And then it towers over you sternly demanding all of your attention. 

I was not as aware of my own thoughts until I started doing deeper shadow work. I just accepted that my thoughts were me. It seemed normal. This was how I had grown up and lived for many years.

As I grew more conscious over time I noticed patterns to my arising thoughts. Sometimes I found myself mental looping. A fragment of a song would endlessly replay in my mind. Or an unresolved problem would loop over and over. For some reason fragments of conversations would repeat.

Another thing I noticed were intrusive thoughts. I’d be minding my own business and suddenly a voice inside my head would just come at my aggressively. It was as if someone roughly grabbed me by my shoulders and started shaking me.

Then there was rumination. Old memories might suddenly surface from seemingly nowhere. Or a spotlight would be thrown onto some unresolved past relationship. And harsh self judgement, an inner voice berating or insulting me for past mistakes. It felt as if my mind was trying to mechanically analyze and process my life by forcing my soul through a meat grinder.

At times I would feel quite helpless before the might of my intense mind. And there seemed to be two modes. The one I labelled, “Danger,” was when there was truly a real-life issue I was trying to work through. I would sense my mind desperately seeking a resolution. It was working hard and trying to help me. But the second mode which I called, “Random,” was more common. With Random there was an underlying stress, a tension, a thinking for thinking sake. Churning, waves of unrelated thoughts washing over me, intrusive thoughts. All quite random...  

How to Tell Your Mind to Shush!

If only the overthinking mind were an externalized person that I could throw out of my physical space and then lock a door barring them from entering again...

Despite a great deal of meditation, analysis and other approaches I eventually developed a strategy to manage my own mind. Let me share four approaches that shifted me into a clearer mind and emotional calm.

1. I became aware that my True Self was not the mind or thinking. This happened as a result of noticing two voices. The ego voice which was often dictatorial, fearful and intense and the inner voice of my soul. As a soul I could listen to the ego voice from a place of detachment. I didn’t identify with the ego as who I was.
2. I learned and applied mindfulness phrases in response to intrusive thoughts. One of the most powerful ones was, “What if I had no history?” If I sensed my ego voice anxiously telling me a story about my past and worrying about how it could affect my future I would pause and ask, “What if I had no history?” My ego voice would go silent as it contemplated having no past.
3. If there was an unresolved issue that my mind relentlessly poking me with I would examine my feelings and beliefs to find a root cause. I was often surprised by the beliefs I discovered by tracing a feeling back to its origin point. There was always a sense of catharsis and empowerment.
4. I noticed that if I spend too much time alone I begin to suffocate from my own thoughts. It’s becomes like a closet you keep mindlessly throwing things into until it can’t hold any more objects. Simply spending a few hours with other people seemed to wash much of my thinking away. It would give my mind a break. It made me realize that constant thinking is not living fully. Connecting with others you enjoy is healing.

But Really, How Do I Do This?

Well, I personally got a lot of training to master my own mind through over 30 years of research. And also mentoring. So I fully understand it when men come to me suffering from overthinking, intrusive thoughts, anxious thoughts or excessive rumination.

They feel trapped in a negative mindset. They feel hopeless and powerless because they can’t find relief. Excessive thinking all day or losing sleep at night is robbing them of the well-being and energy they truly deserve. 

Some try to control this with meds to calm the mind down. Maybe they work with a therapist to figure out a root cause. Many try to fix it themselves with self-help books or videos. I’ve seen a lot of men attempt to do it all alone. They didn’t seek out support from someone who’d already overcome intrusive thoughts. What they really needed was a solid strategy that works. And then there are men who just live with it and suffer.

These approaches don’t work well. Meds will numb you, but they have side-effects. As soon as they wear off overthinking starts up again. Therapy is helpful but what if there’s really no deeper psychological issue to resolve? Just talking about intrusive thoughts doesn’t clear them up. Books and videos are a very good start, but there’s an art to applying information to get good results. If you don’t have the support of someone who’s already overcome intrusive thoughts themselves you’re just guessing.  And doing nothing gets you nothing.

Helping other men is easy for me because I’m living a lifestyle where I am managing my own intrusive thoughts on a daily basis. I don’t let them control me anymore. What I learned is that each man needs unique strategy. So my solution is to first observe what your mental patterns are. What triggers your overthinking? How long do you overthink? What is your frequency and pattern?

Then I come up with several techniques from the hundreds I know and show you how to effectively apply them as needed. It’s easy once you know what to do.

Please contact me if you want to learn tools to manage your thoughts and feelings.

I work on two levels at all times. First level, I do laser coaching sessions with you to pinpoint and resolve the cause of any major anxiety you are dealing with. Second level, I show you how to face what you fear from a place of self-assurance and strength. You can control your emotions and reactions. You can learn easy tools, techniques and strategies to STOP fear in its tracks. 

Stopping intrusive thoughts is like playing a game of chess. I learned the winning moves. Our minds are not our enemies, but we need to learn how to use them properly.